Pinkie Promise
by The Last Letter
Summary: After the movie, Jude is left reeling from his thoughts. When Connor calls and asks to see him the next day, he worries that it will be the end of their friendship. But Connor has a surprising confession for Jude - one that neither of them know what to do with.


Jude walked up to his front door, listening as the van carrying Daria and Connor whisked away into the night, Taylor having been dropped off before he was. When he had left the house to go to the movies, he hadn't known what to think or how to feel. On one hand, Taylor seemed pretty cool. She seemed just about as interested in having Jude as a boyfriend as he was in having her for a girlfriend, which meant they could be friends without any weirdness. That was something that Jude needed right now, because Connor was the other hand. They had fought, and it was worse than when he'd felt like Connor's dirty little secret. Connor had called him a whiny little bitch and had seemed set on avoiding him ever since. Jude had been worried about this happening, to the point where he had even tried to ready himself for it, ever since the camping trip. He missed his best friend, though, and had started to worry that he'd never get his friend back. Especially because Jude was sure Connor knew that he wanted to be more than friends.

Jude let himself into the house, starting as he realized how long he'd been lingering outside the door, lost in thought. When he walked in, Stef was standing there. She had her eyebrows raised at him, but didn't say anything on his extended stay on the porch.

"Hello, love," She greeted him. She put an arm around his shoulders, drawing him close. Any other time, Jude would have welcomed the contact, but tonight, he felt like being alone with his thoughts. "How was the movie?"

"Fine," Jude managed. "But I'm _really_ tired, so I'm going to go to bed. Night!"

He ducked out from under Stef's arm, bounding for the stairs.

"Goodnight, love you!" Stef sounded bemused.

"Love you too!" Jude shouted behind him, and then he shut himself in the bathroom. It was the only place in the house where privacy was, if only partially, guaranteed.

He sunk to the floor, staring down at his hands. The movie had been fine in the way that he hadn't paid attention to it at all, overly aware of who had been sitting next to him – and he didn't mean Taylor.

_Connor doesn't even want to be __**friends,**_ Jude reminded himself. _He brought a __**girl**__ to the movies. His __**girlfriend.**_

But then … then, when they were both leaning against the armrest that Connor had put down between them as a barrier, Connor had reached for him. Where Daria could see, where Taylor could see, where potentially anyone in the theatre could turn around and see, Connor had wrapped his pinkie around Jude's and had become braver as the movie had continued, until they'd had several fingers crossed between each other's by the time the lights came on. It wasn't _quite_ holding hands, but it wasn't nothing either. The gesture had shocked Jude. It had nearly floored him. it wasn't like he hadn't touched Connor before. They'd shared hugs and handshakes; had slept side by side during sleepovers and during the camping trip. And then, that last night of the camping trip, inviting the girls into the tent wasn't the only stupid decision they had made. Because, sitting in their tent, on a stupid dare, he had kissed Connor and ruined everything.

But with that gentle brush of Connor's fingers, the way Connor's pinkie and ring and middle fingers had all eventually locked with his own, had given Jude a wild hope that he barely dared to nurture (although he had been actively tending it since Connor had reached for him). It meant so much that Connor had been the one to reach for him; that he had been the initiator. It meant Connor had more to say; that he wasn't just walking away from their friendship.

He jumped as there came a heavy knock at the door. He'd been lost in thought again, but he couldn't help it. He had a lot to think about, and a lot of it was confusing.

"Jude!" Jesus bellowed. "Phone! I know you're in there!"

Phone?

Jude stood up and cracked the door open. He reached for the device in his brother's hand, but Jesus held it away.

"I need the bathroom, you go to our room," Jesus instructed.

Jude nodded and grabbed the phone, letting Jesus have the bathroom. He was shaking a little as he lifted the phone to his ear. It wouldn't be Connor. It couldn't be. Connor was probably still with Daria. It might be Taylor, and Jude prepared himself to hear her voice.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Hey Jude."

_Connor_. and all of his pores seemed to exhale at once.

"Hi."

"Um … Can I come over tomorrow?" Connor asked, hesitance in his voice. "I want to talk to you in person."

"Yes," Jude agreed, before he even asked Moms. He needed to see Connor and, though he was kind of dreading it, he knew that they finally needed to talk. "At two?"

"At two," Connor repeated. "Okay."

Jude swallowed. "Okay ... Bye, Connor."

"Bye Jude."

The anvil was in place. Now Jude was just waiting for it to fall.

(-.-)

Connor had never imagined becoming so familiar with his vice-principal's house, but a lot of things had happened to him since meeting Jude that he never would have expected. He knocked on the door, feeling a lump develop in his throat. He was nervous. He was scared. Jude was the best friend he'd ever had, though Connor knew that he hadn't treated him like it. He couldn't help it, though he tried to. He _really_ tried to.

Lena opened the door. "Hi, Connor. How are you?"

"Good. How are you?" His voice sounded too high. Connor cleared his throat, trying not to look as nervous as he felt. He shouldn't be nervous. He was here to see Jude. With very rare exceptions, he'd never been nervous around Jude.

"Great! Jude's in his room. Head on up."

Connor nodded at her and slowly started climbing the stairs. He desperately tried to gather all of the scattered thoughts he had collected in the past few weeks. It was time to prod those thoughts from his brain and into his mouth. If anyone deserved to have an unfiltered glimpse into his head, it was Jude. Connor knew he'd been acting stupid since the camping trip, maybe since a little before, he couldn't remember clearly. But he knew for sure that Jude deserved a lot better.

He opened Jude's door. "Hey."

Jude sat up on his bed and crossed his legs underneath him. He gestured for Connor to sit on the end of his bed, near his headboard. "Hey."

Connor took his seat, sitting with his back against the well. He toyed the the corner of Jude's pillow. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

Connor looked up, surprised at the hard edge in Jude's voice.

"I've heard those words a lot before," Jude said. "Tell me why you're sorry, otherwise I know you're just saying it for you."

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I've been such a jerk lately. I know it's not a good apology, but I want to try to explain myself … if you'll let me."

Jude nodded his agreement.

Connor pulled Jude's pillow into his lap, idly plucking at it. "I was always the same kind of person before I met you. That probably sounds like I'm blaming you for something, but I promise that I'm not. You just weren't like anyone else I met before, which is why I wanted to be friends with you so badly. You were just _you_, if that makes any sense, and I liked it. I was … am … kind of jealous. People picked on you, but you never stopped being who you were. I want to be like that; always have."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," Jude informed him in a monotone. He watched Connor's face fall, and he realized what he said could be taken as him pushing Connor away. Hastily, he added, "But explanation might."

"I'm confused, Jude." Connor took a deep breath. He'd never admitted that aloud before. He had barely allowed himself to admit it internally. "We're young and I know that. I also know that I've always been aware of girls in a way that I never was of boys, not really. And I'm still aware of girls. I still think they're hot. I _do_ think Daria is hot. I like it when we play spin the bottle and I get to kiss girls."

Jude could only nod. He knew all of this. "So why say you're confused?"

Connor roughly ran a hand through his hair and then he dropped his hand down to Jude's pillow, squeezing it, just so that he could distract himself. "Because I'm more … aware … o-of …"

"Of?" Jude's voice was barely a whisper, his nurtured hope growing into his throat.

Connor crushed his eyes shut, and blurted out the words before he lost his nerve. "Because I'm more aware of you than I have been anyone else in my entire life and I don't know what to think about that. At first I thought that it was because we were best friends and we spent a lot of time together so of course you were always on my mind. But then I thought that we might not get to see each other a lot because of my dad and that scared me and it turned me into a jerk. And then the camping trip and I actually got to kiss you and I knew it, Jude. I knew that I liked you but I didn't know how to deal with that because you're a boy." His eyes flew open, and again he rushed his words as he said, "I'm not saying that it's wrong. Women love women and men love men. I know it doesn't matter as long as they love each other, but I never thought of myself with a boy. Don't blame it on my dad either, because he's not homophobic, really. But I … I … I like _you_, and I don't know if I understand how I'm feeling and that's why I've been an … an _ass_. I'm sorry about everything."

Jude gaped, trying to process. In the haze of all the words that Connor had just thrown at him, he managed to say, "What about Daria? Your _girlfriend_?"

Connor glanced down, mildly ashamed as he said, "She kissed me, after we dropped you off last night. I told her we should be friends and that I wanted my lab partner back."

"Oh."

Connor's eyes flicked up so he was looking Jude in the eye. "If you want me as your lab partner, that is."

Jude ran his hand along the seam of his jeans. Connor liked him. He said so. Inside Jude, something was singing. But that didn't mean that everything was okay. "What about the other stuff you said?"

Somehow, Connor looked even more uncomfortable. "I don't know. I'm confused about everything."

"What do you want?" Jude asked patiently.

Jude knew what he wanted. He wanted to be able to say they were boyfriends, in the same casual way that Taylor had mentioned that Connor and Daria were boos. He wanted … OTP, whatever _that_ meant. He wanted to know what it was like to kiss Connor again, because in the tent it had been awkward and brief, but it was also sweet and great.

Connor kneaded at the pillow. "I want to kiss you again, but I don't think I'm allowed to ask that."

Jude averted his gaze, thinking about it. "It's like I told you before. I won't be a secret. I don't want to be an experiment either. You know that I like you too … I know that you know that. You're my best friend and I don't want to lose you."

"Even though I've been a jerk?" Connor clarified.

Jude glanced up, snickering unexpectedly. "Even though you've been a jerk, but only because I think you'll get over it."

Connor smiled at him. "What do we do now?"

"Decide," Jude recommended wisely. "Do we want to be friends or not friends or more?" He couldn't bring himself to say the word 'boyfriends'. It scared him a little (he'd never had a relationship before, though most of their classmates were starting to be old hands at it) and he worried that it would scare Connor too.

"Anything but not friends," Connor said quickly. "I want you in my life, Jude."

"Me too."

"But, the other stuff … I've been thinking about it for so long but you're the first person I've said anything too. If we both feel the same way, then why not?"

_Why not?_ It was the golden question. Jude had seen enough TV shows to know the answers to that question. He and Connor would lose their friendship when their relationship inevitably fell through and it would fall through because they were young, unsure, and dumb. They were too young to know that they wanted to be with another boy and that would all backfire. They didn't actually know what they wanted. The reasons raced around Jude's head, rapid fire. When he first realized that he had feelings for Connor that went beyond friendship, situations and scenarios kept popping into his mind, even when he tried to keep them at bay. He would think about what would happen if he told Connor and Connor felt the same way, or what happened if he didn't. He thought about what would happened if they kissed and what would happen if they never did. If the 'what if' existed, Jude had thought about it, probably with more depth than he should. Now, the ultimate 'what if' had turned into a reality: _what if Connor liked him back?_

Because now Connor had confessed exactly that.

"What about your dad?" Jude asked.

"He's not homophobic."

"He's already tried to stop you from seeing me."

"I won't let him. I'll stand up for you, just like I should have before."

"You said you're confused. What if you stay that way?"

Jude almost couldn't believe what he was saying. Wasn't this what he wanted? Connor taking a stand and deciding what he wanted and fighting for it? Jude blinked, and he realized what it was he wanted. He wanted to be sure that this was what Connor wanted. It wasn't about not wanting Connor, it was about not wanting to be an experiment or a secret.

Connor gaped, and Jude watched him think about it. "I don't understand how I can like girls and boys at the same time." He blushed. "Because I have noticed other boys before, but I never thought about it, because when I had a crush, it was on a girl."

"Except for me."

"Except for you." His blush deepened. "And I think you're my biggest crush. I'm not confused about how I feel for you."

"Really?"

"I swear." Connor held out his finger. "Pinkie promise."

Jude looked at Connor's outstretched hand. He had no hesitation as he reached back and locked their fingers together, just like they had last night. Except this time, their hands melded together. There was no need to do it subtly, because there was no one to hide from. They clutched their hands together tightly and they looked up at one another at the same time.

"So?" Connor started.

"So?"

A smile crept onto Connor's face. "So, I like you and I'm sorry about everything. I like the way you're able to talk to your Moms about everything and I'm sorry I said all of the things that I did. I won't, ever again, and if I do you can … sic Callie on me."

"I definitely will." Jude smiled back at Connor. "Apology accepted."

"So?"

"So?" Jude echoed.

"Boyfriends?"

Jude felt a small flurry in his stomach. Connor, his boyfriend. He nodded quickly, excitedly. "Okay."

Connor inched down the bed toward Jude, leaving the pillow he'd been hiding behind in its original place. Jude scooted toward him too, and he leant into Connor for another kiss. His first kiss with a boyfriend. It was short, but it was longer than their last kiss. And it was definitely better than the last kiss. Jude sat back as Connor's lips left him, meeting his eyes and blushing.

"I'm not confused," Connor confessed. "This makes sense."

Jude smiled, and then he thought of something, and his face froze.

"What?" Connor asked, noticing the change.

"I'm confused."

"About what?"

"What's an OTP?"

"OTP?" Connor repeated.

Jude nodded earnestly.

"Umm … Only … Trained … Parrots?" Connor guessed.

"That doesn't make any sense."

"So what does it mean?"

Jude shrugged. "Who knows? It probably means nothing anyway."

"Maybe you're an OTP," Connor joked, knocking their connected hands against the outside of Jude's leg.

Jude snorted. Connor made the letters sound like a playful insult. Imitating the tone, he said, "Maybe _you're_ an OTP."

"Maybe we're an OTP," Connor said seriously.

Jude laughed. "We're only trained parrots?"

Connor snickered. "Better than being monkeys."

"True." Jude agreed swiftly, and he squeezed Connor's hand. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"Absolutely!"

**So, this probably has the most clichéd title that I could think of … **_**Anyway¸ **_**I tried to capture their thoughts as best as I could, so tell me what you think! Also, I **_**so**_** could not help myself with that OTP line. The writers offered us a gift when Taylor said it, and I'm not going to waste it!**

**This is unedited. I own nothing recognizable.**

**~TLL~**


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